Marital Rape And Abusive Sex
Sex is a still a subject many people are reluctant to talk about, even when it has become a subject of great pain in a marriage. For many people, what is acceptable behavior can be fuzzy concept. Fortunately, there are some legal precepts you can turn to for some guidance.
Reasonable Expectations Regarding Sex
When a person marries someone else, there is a reasonable expectation that they will have sexual intercourse on a somewhat regular basis. There is also a reasonable expectation that it will be consensual.
Absence of Sex in Marriage
To deny a mate of it for long periods of time should be a basis for concern especially when there is no health problem to prevent it. Some people withhold having sex with their partner as punishment for not getting what they want or for some other spiteful reason. This is one form of psychologically abusive behavior.
A person could withhold consent because they have a mental or emotional aversion to it, likely due to a sexual assault or from childhood sexual abuse. If you are married to someone with this problem, some patience and marital/personal counseling will be needed.
If there is no physical or mental problem to be dealt with, and your mate stubbornly refuses to have sex with you, your legal options are simple. You can annul your marriage or get divorced. That would leave you free to find an available partner. If you and your spouse have no moral objections to infidelity, that too is an option but you could be opening yourself up to more legal issues such as civil liability if you catch a venereal disease or child support if a pregnancy occurs.
Marital Rape
What you can't do legally is force someone to have sex with you. This is rape and even if you are married to the person, it is a criminal act in all fifty states and US territories.
Abusive Sex
People also have some reasonable expectations in American society about their treatment in marriage by the other person, including respectful and kind behavior. If you subject your mate to occasional or regular verbal or physical abuse, naturally they are going to be less inclined to be intimate with you. A marriage certificate does not change this. In short, people of both genders have still have control over their own bodies and they have the legal right to say no to sex at any time.
People also have the right to decide what type of sexual activity they will engage in. If a partner wants you to engage in acts you find repugnant, you have the right to say no. You also have the right to say no to acts that are painful, uncomfortable, or those you have moral objections to. This goes both ways.
Some people use sex as a way to dominate their mates in these ways:
- By using force,
- Combining it with violence,
- Verbally abusing the person,
- By demeaning them,
- Using threatening words and behavior, and/or
- By making sure the person has nowhere to go, no funds, no vehicle.
If a mate is abusive to you, whether in everyday life or in bed, you need to leave because the chances of abuse escalating are good but the chances of that person changing for the better are not very good. However, leaving can be a dangerous proposition so you need to seek help from an attorney like Gerald Mack Freeman atty to plan an escape that will protect your legal rights. If you want to press domestic abuse or marital rape charges, they can advise you and give you the legal support you need. If you have children, you will want to know how to get and retain custody and protect them.